#@#$%%^

First of all I just want to apologize to my hair for not taking care of it.
I get it rebonded and then curl it so many times with a shitty hair straightener.

Today I got it permed, not digital perm but permed the olden ways (the chemical type of perm). I was thinking that once I get out of the salon I would feel happy and satisfied...WRONG!
I was thinking of a bigger loose curls but instead I got a shitty small soft spiral curls that turned out retarded.

The only thing that my hairdresser got right was the fringe only the fringe I was happy about not too short not to blunt just right, on the side right length etc...
However she cut my hair ends. I should have listened to Xiaxue blog on not cutting hair ends when you are trying to grow your hair! I am such a stubborn strong head foolish woman!

Why did I make this regrettable behaviour? Well it is because of my impatience towards wanting and thinking that I will be getting a cheap digital perm. I thought that normal perm is aka digital perm since its new technology. I didn't realise that my hairdresser had a catch to it!
Digital perm is actually more expensive than normal perm. So I payed 85 dollars on a perm I didn't even want, not only did I damage my hair but I also caused a major illness on my wallet.
Seriously this obsessive impatience behaviour towards unnecessary appearance change has to stop!

I know that since 2010 started I have been feeling very low and doing a lot of disastrous spontaneous actions. The fact that my family is facing financial difficulties and my significant other requiring more unwanted and unnecessary affections I am literally going insane.

I will try take photo of what my hair looks like when it is wet and when it is dry when I get home tonight.
Seriously there is nothing to look forward to aside from feeling disappointed.

I know I feel annoyed and disappointed at myself.

Sorry for my natural curly hair for  rebonding you which happened 3 years ago and now giving you an unwanted perm.
Sorry for my wallet/bank account who just managed to save 85 dollars in 3 weeks allowance and was gone in an instant of 2 hours.

I feel utterly stupid.