I am not sorry for it because clearly I just wanted to vent it out like a normal person.
Since I was brought up to keep things to myself especially certain emotions that involves: disgust, anger and sadness, I just grew up hating myself for displaying emotions as such.
Yesterday I asked my friends to report the facebook profile to the Facebook Team so that they can delete the account.
I have asked certain people to do that for me and some of them were happy to do it for me.
There are just some friends that I never really understand. Could it be maybe our thinking is completely different, sometimes it makes me wonder whether who is the one with sense and sensibility.
I want to be that bigger person but because I am human I am not perfect and I know my flaws therefore how can you precisely judge it.
I am an analyst so I think and think and think about circumstances, things that happened and meaning of peoples words.
The messages below are what I really think of you and this group.
Friend 1
Yesterday when I asked you for a simple favour about reporting my facebook profile to the facebook team and you replied with 'No one really looks at your facebook page anyway, don't make a big deal of it' I just realize you are such a bitch. It might not occur to you that these situation happening lately is causing me so much distress probably because you don't know what it feels like, you are among my friends (or shall we say ex friend) that just never give a shit about me. You know when you tell me your problems I always listen to you attentively and like I mostly tell you a lot of things that you are missing out on because as your friend I hate seeing you upset because I know that when you don't know what's happening you cry. Well thanks for that bitch I don't think I will ever talk to you for very long time.
Friend 2
We were probably the first batch of friends in this stupid circle of friends, we met through a networking website, guess I know you know which one. Even though you told me last month that what ever happens you'll be on my side, lets just face it I know you will NEVER be on my side. To be honest I did so much for you but it seems like my efforts were not that big take for example that disco night where I arranged a ride for and your friends to go home and I used my significant others friend who was struggling to bring his car down the coast and then in the end you and your boyfriend made up and decided to not use the transportation that we arranged for you which was absolutely BS especially when we sort of made that friend bring his car! You are just so inconsiderate sometimes always thinking of yourself first.
Friend 3
You know I always thought you are nice to me but lets face it you do talk about people behind their backs. Yes you are right everybody talks about everyone behind their backs at one point in their life, but to me you did it most of the time in this group. You have a way to switch on and off, for example what you did to Friend 2 just right before your debut, you know she's your best friend and yet somehow you manage to make an issue towards her when pretty much Friend 2 has been really sincerely good towards you only.
Friend 4
What can I say about you, well I have no problem with your full stop, I like you but because Friend 3 and me had a falling out I just know that things will change for us too because Friend 3 is your sister and that is understandable but I like you.
Friend 5
You were the first one to drift away from this group all I can say is bravo I should have done the same for myself.
Friend 6
I think you are nice but not good to Friend 13 as her brother. I don't really know whats wrong with you two but from what I was told you are not what I thought you were. But hey that is only one side of the story. I know that you are a whipped guy you can just obviously tell that your partner restrict you from fun. Like your sister Friend 13's debut you were just helping out with the technical equipments and towards the end you and your partner was having an awkward moment. I don't know whether the two of you were fighting before everyone arrived (it didn't look like it because you were talking to each other when people were arriving) or your partner just got annoyed how you have to help and she was just there waiting for your attention. Honestly as a friend you are alright, as a boyfriend you are pretty much turning into your partner.
Friend 7
What can I say I think you are an awesome guy.
Friend 8
You know you are a good dancer, but you are so negative. I don't understand why you are so negative towards yourself every time I talk to you. If you really don't think you are a good dancer then why do you perform? I know that when you dance your technique is all about feeling the music. Another thing when you were dating Friend 1 I don't understand how Friend 1 manages to think and get jealous (she also told you) that you and Friend 3 was way to close and yet you didn't do anything about it. I mean if it was Friend 3 complaining about her Friend 6 everyone just gets the fuck away from him and she gives them the silent treatment. (See Friend 3 you are sometimes unreasonable because you did that to Friend 2 to who was your best friend at that time).
Friend 9
All I can say is that you are nice in my face and awesome at dancing. I hardly know you so I can't say much to you.
Friend 10
You lost so much weight and how did you do it?! I don't know you and yet I invited you in my debut so that you won't feel left out because I hate it when people feel left out.
Friend 11
You are ok; I respect you because you seem to have more common sense than your partner.
Friend 12
Us two used to be tight, I will always remember those memories. I know that we have fun all the time but now you are drifting away from the crowd (I must say bravo) and drifting away from me. The duck and the bear will always be remembered. So thank you for the memories. :D
Friend 13
I know you and I will be friends for long because I have gotten to know you better as years go by. Before I didn't think much of you because people seemed to love talking about you behind your back but now that you and I share and can relate to the same issues I figured that people are just blinded by prejudiced, I heard peoples side and I heard your side and it all made sense. Even though I never tell people in this crowd whether I have spoken to you (when I really did through facebook messages, myspace messages and emails) for our privacy I know you are a good person blinded by love.
Even though you know in your heart that you deserve a better partner you still manage to hold on to your love because you work so hard for it. I pretty much told you everything you needed to hear even if you didn't want to take it but still put it in consideration. What ever comes in the future I will be here rain or shine, you are like a sister to me and I promise you that I will be there for you even if our living distance is so far. Plus I am just a phone call away.
Friend 14
I don't really know where you are lately but hey congratulation, things are doing really well for you.
Friend 15
You are alright. There is still awkwardness between us but we are civil towards each other which is good.
I love your parents they are like the first people who welcomed me as their family so yes I will be civil towards you even if we have a past we can still be friends but yeah probably not close. Because in the past we broke that friends code so yes just friends :D I am glad that things are working out for your band keep the thumbs up.
Before I conclude this post I just want to let you guys know that I never went around and told everybody what I was hearing, seeing or what you were saying behind each others back or even what you thought of each other.
That's because I don't do that. I just tell my very trustworthy friend about it (sometimes I don't even give either a specific example or names when I tell them) so that is why you didn't know about it. Because if I did went around and was telling everyone you would have known 3 years ago or 4 years ago what I really thought of you and this would have been when we all started to form a group. Just as I said before I am secretive and I know who I can tell because you guys didn't even hear anything from me, that is why it was shocking when you received an email from a hacker and saw my private messages to my secret confidant that is how secretive I am. Just unlucky with technology but I was never the one to pass it around after this hacking incident I would probably never trust these networking websites.
I had a good time with you people but not the best as you guys make it to be I beleived that I don't really fit in, I always thought that it was too hard to try and get into the conversation.
We never even talk when we arranged a gathering but we do take a lot of pictures which doesn't make sense.
Sometimes people just have to grow and move on, certain people already had a jet start and I am about to do that. I just want a new beggining.
So after my sister's concert I am sure I will not be seeing any of you any time soon.
I don't really expect myself to reply to anymore messages and calls because I will be changing my number as well. It is not like anyone from this group would call or message me anyway. Hopefully friend 13 doesn't forget me. I am sure she won't because she does text me atleast three - four times a month.
I also maid a new email where Friend 1 might have but I blocked her because she was being lousy friend at that time when I needed help, probably the first time I tried asking her for help.
So yes maybe in the future I might see you guys but right now, I am just going to focus on people I am close to (that includes Friend 13), my education, job, family and myself.
So thank you for all the memories.
If you ever see this post (anyone from that group) and get offended don't take it to heart, it is just a personal opinion. The facts that I used in here are things I was hearing from people, so you would most likely never know who those people were because I coded them in a way that will confuse anyone. Plus it has been a long time when you do read this so probably let it go.
It would appear that in this name codes that I did someone sounds like someone because that was my intention, there are some friends that I coded that is really obvious but that is because I made them to be.
Only the ones I used facts are the ones that I coded really well.
Yeah I know confusing but thats they way I like it.
“You find out who your real friends are when you're involved in a scandal.”
- Elizabeth Taylor
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